When we were quickly reading the newspapers at Tesco’s today we came across an absolute pearler of a picture on the front cover of The Times.

At first it looks like a poorly photoshopped, heavy handed metaphor for the election race, but on closer inspection there’s a lot more going on than that.

For intsance, from the knee down the Labour runner’s left leg is about 5 times bigger than his right leg. This would make it almost impossible to run in a straight line and explains Labour’s veering towards more right wing policies over the last few years.

The Conservative runner has two tiny legs showing that he is very light on his feet. This is to show that almost all Tory politicians (97% in the last Census) have a keen interest in rent boys.

Lastly, those racist fucks the BNP were of course represented in this metaphor by a white runner and last we heard he’s lagging a fair way behind. He’s expected to finish on The Times front page at some point over the weekend.