The latest mad cap vampire shenanigans are upon us in the third installment of the Twilight “Saga”. But what if you can’t remember everything that happened in the first 2 parts? Don’t worry, we’ve got permission to exclusively bring you the entire first two books.

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Twilight

See Bella (girl). See Edward (vampire).
Bella like Edward. Edward like Bella.
Bella in trouble.
See Edward run (super-humanly-fast)
Run Edward, run (super-humanly-fast).
Edward save Bella.
Some kissing.
THE END

Eddie running like a mad fool (to save Bella no doubt)

Twilight Saga: New Bloody Moon

See Jacob (werewolf) with no shirt on
Some kissing
THE END

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Print off, cut out and keep the 2 books in your wallet for future reference.

So now you’re all caught up – whats the new film like? Well we haven’t seen it but we’re gonna go out on a limb and guess.
Utter cack. No stars (out of 20)