Tag Archives: sex and the city 2

Gineral Election – S J Parker

SATC2 hasn’t done as well as expected at the box office which has raised a lot of questions. “Why?”, “What went wrong?” and “What does Sarah Jessica Parker most look like? Is it a horse? Or a foot? (OR actually, is it the cowardly lion?)”

Well here at Gin Riot we’re gonna decide the answer to that last (4-part-ish) question once and for all, in the inaugural Gin-eral Election and YOUR VOTE could swing it! Here are the candidate’s manifestos…

Horse – the early favourite

The fine people over at sarahjessicaparkerlookslikeahorse.com have been doing sterling work on this subject for some time

SJP

SJP tanned

SJP galloping

Family Guy had this to say, while South Park went on record with this and even Sarah JP has realised as much herself (in black and white no less!)

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Foot – the main challenger

Urban Dictionary defines S Jessica P as “an actress who has the most annoying scream in the world, and a head that is shaped like a foot.”

This has been illustrated by the fine people over at totallylookslike.com

sjp size 8

Size 9 Jessica Parker

and although Family Guy seemed firmly in the horse camp they also released this statement

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Cowardly Lion – the rank outsider

Thanks again to the brave people over at totallylookslike.com for making this a 3 horse race.

sarah-jessica-parker-totally-looks-like-the-cowardly-lion

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RIGHT! The cases have been made now YOU DECIDE!!!

What does Sarah Jessica Parker most look like? Is it a horse? Or a foot? (Or, actually, is it the cowardly lion?)

View Results

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Film Review – Sex and the City 2

It’s fair to say that the first Sex and the City film divided the critics. Some said it was “vulgar, shrill, deeply shallow — and, at 2 hours and 22 turgid minutes, overlong.” (Manohla Dargis of The New York Times)

Others said it was “uniquely bad; this one is a threshold-breaker with a different sound, the crack of rock-bottom giving way to a whole deeper layer of magma.” (Rick Groen of The Globe and Mail)

And the movie featured on several worst of 2008 lists including that of The Times, Mark Kermode, The New York Observer and The Daily Telegraph.

But what about Sex and the City 2? What’s THAT like as a film, you may well ask?

It’s shit. No stars (out of 5)

Sex and the City Week – Miranda

Sex and the City 2 is released on Friday and everyone at Gin Riot is tres (very) excited. To celebrate this monumentous cinematic event we’re having an in depth look at the least popular or “ginger-est” character on the show – Miranda.

Cynthia Nixon was an actress for 20 years before she hit the big time with her role as Pepe the King Prawn in The Muppets. There she proved her acting chops and quickly mastered the art of using a phone.

HBO were watching and cast her in the role of Miranda where she would have to both use a phone AND look less attractive than Sarah Jessica Parker. She managed both and then some.

Pepe

In her private life she broke up with her long time partner Danny Moses and started a lesbian relationship with Christine Marinoni, who plays Bradley on Eastenders.

Bradley and Cynthia yo

It raised a few eyebrows in Tinseltown because, in the Bible, God makes it very clear that he`frowns upon ginger on ginger relationships, but Cynthia and Bradley weathered the storm and have never been happier.

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CYNTHIA NIXON FACT FILE (print off, cut out and keep in your wallet!!!)
Age: 44
Height: 5 foot 7-ish  Maybe 5 foot 8
Actress: Yes
Sexuality: Ginger

(possibly 5 foot 9?)